A funeral during this worldwide pandemic is unusual. Death is not. There have been so many people that I have known personally and those familiy members of my friends who have passed away this year. None of it easy to talk about or adequately express our emotions regarding the loss to each other. So many families have had to mourn in isolation and not have the priviledge of closure with a funeral. I have begun to list their names in my journal. I want to remember them. I want to pray for the families as time passes. It has been a hard diffiicult year.

That is why this funeral that I recently attended was so powerful. The man who passed away was our dear friend’s 89 year old father. I had only met him a hand full of times, so I didn’t know him well. But throughout the funeral I realized that I did know him because I know his son. I also realized that I know him simply because he was person. A man with a wife and family, jobs, dreams, hurts, friends and a marine veteran who was a purple heart recipient.

That is a powerful thought, especially if you have children. Who you are reflects so much of who your parents are. Being intentional as a parent to pass on our best traits and intentional as an adult to only cling to our parents best traits has an impact on our lives. And yet humanity is God’s gift to us as we share this world with each other. Living with people in community.

During the funeral my friend stood and let us know we could read the obituarary of his dad. Those were facts of the man. He shared with us the father that he loved through stories of facing starvation in the wilderness of Alaska together and practicing integrity even when no one is looking. Stories of character and love. Sitting in the pew with misty eyes I felt like I knew the father and understood the son even more.

Then something unexpected happened. This was a military funeral with the Patriot Guard motorcycle escort to the cemetery. So we lined up several cars behind the hearse and limo carrying the family. The motorcycle escorts had American flags and flanked the hearse and limo on our long ride through the city to the Veteran’s Cemetery. I have never had the privilege’s of being part of a military funeral procession. It was an incredible honor.

It was through this experience of driving through the city as part of the procession that I got to know the person and human kindness. We snaked through the streets of the city following each other closely as the motorcycles came roaring past us with lights and sirens to part the heavy upcoming traffic. At one moment there were 3 lanes of traffic stopped on each side of us as we rolled down the center lane. That’s when it first hit me that all the people around us are putting this man first. They are stopped for just a brief moment in their busy day and paying respect to this man they don’t know.

So I began to watch the street. I scanned from side to side to see what the people on the street were doing. I saw three construction workers on the side of the road where they had been working, all standing tall and still as we passed them by. One young man held his hard hat over his heart in reverence. Then there was a very old man with a floppy khaki hat making his way down the street on a riding scooter with a tall flag on it. He stopped and watched as we passed as still as a statue. There was a young homeless man, dirty and worn with a flannel shirt standing next to his over flowing shopping cart that I’m sure held all his earthly possesions. He stood still and straight as we passed.

As I rode passed these people, comfortably perched in my nice truck, I began to openly weep at humanity. There are so many good and kind people. Even if it is for a moment. Even if they don’t look the right way, have the right job, drive the nicest set of wheels, wear the most fashionable flannel shirt or live in the best of neighborhoods. We passed a young mother who was bending down speaking to her little boy at a stop on his bicycle as they watched us roll past them. Another woman was stopped in her truck on the side of the rode with her little fluffy dog in her lap waving at us as we went passed her.

It was a surreal feeling. All of these people even for a moment, showing love and respect for another person they don’t know. What they do know is that a life lost is always a life worth paying respect to.

As we arrived at the cemetary the veterans lined the walk where the casket was brought to rest. The American flags flapping in the crisp Arizona winter wind were the only sound in the pavallion. I gazed down the line of veteran’s, their faces invisible behind the COVID required masks, and I thought of the stories of war and life they must each have of their own. Yet I will never know even though we share this intimate moment of time.

The Marines dressed in full uniform gently removed the American flag from the top of the casket and began ceremoniously folding it. Then from behind us the lone Marine played taps on his horn. It was a proud, sorrowful and tearful moment as they gently handed the immaculately folded flag to the grieving widow. A man who proudly fought for his country will forever come to mind when I see an American flag folded in a tight triangle.

The American Flag is a strong reminder of who we are when you put the faces who have fought for our freedom in the stars and the stripes. When your loved one is currently fighting or has survived the fight for our country the flag means a little more than it did before. When your loved one’s casket is draped in the red, white and blue it is a precious memory that you will forever cherish. I saw the honor in that personally as this man’s widow held that flag tight to her heart.

The Patriot Guard presented not only a precious medallion to the grieving wife but imparted soft, kind words to her. Reassuring words of honor, character, faith and integrity. Words that wash over the pain of loss.

It was hard to leave our friends that day. I always find it hard to leave a funeral. It feels so final. Grieving is such a vulnerable state to be in. It is unpredictable, sometimes kind and sometimes harsh. So please remember to reach out to those who are mourning the loss of loved ones. Maybe you too can write their names down to remember them. Send your friends or family a text to let them know you love them. Give them a phone call. Or visit them and sit along side of them in their grief, no words necessary. Just be present with them.

I have now attended a military funeral in a worldwide pandemic. I am thankful for the honor. The experience has brought me even closer to our friends and refreshed my faith that all people are made in the image of God. Even if it only shows for a moment on the outside. So I urge you to look at others with that thought in mind as we navigate this uncertain time. Faith in God and country will sustain us.

Blessings to you,

Carrie